


Selfish

by cordeliagoodx



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, i'm so sorry i don't even know what this is, i'm trash, this is mostly a monologue tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 00:23:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16902558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliagoodx/pseuds/cordeliagoodx
Summary: "(...)she could hear laughing and oh God how she hated that sound.She hated it so much, because she knew exactly who it was and she hated it because even after all the hurting, it made her stomach flutter exactly the same way it did months ago when she was still the reason Penelope laughed like that."





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> There's not nearly enough Posie fics in here so I decided to ake this matter in my hands and so something about it.  
> Also I wrote this in an hour I'm sorry about any mistakes, it's three in the morning and my native language isn't english.

Josie sighed as she washed her hair for the third time. For some reason, after being buried alive by her own biological mother – who was probably possessed but still – she felt like washing her hair once or twice wasn’t enough. Or maybe it wasn’t exactly about her hair being covered in dirt.

Maybe it was because she didn’t want to face to world again just yet.

Maybe it was because the three people who were there to save her were not the people she expected to see. MG was supposed to be enjoying the party like there was no tomorrow. Hope wasn’t even supposed to be at the party. And Penelope… Well… It was _Penelope._ Josie had expected to see her father, her _sister._ But (un)surprisingly, none of them came to see her until now.

Turning off the shower, she could hear talking outside the bathroom door and she wished they would just leave before she got out. She could make up MG’s voice, and she could hear laughing and _oh God_ how she hated that sound.

She hated it so much, because she knew exactly who it was and she hated it because even after all the hurting, it made her stomach flutter exactly the same way it did months ago when she was still the reason Penelope laughed like that. The brunette’s laughing used to be one of Josie’s favorite sounds, but now it just annoyed her and seriously, couldn’t her ex and the vampire outside just go somewhere away from her?

Yes, they did saved her, and yes she was thankful  that she didn’t die, but still, they didn’t have to flirt with each other right outside the place they _knew_ she was.

Josie sighed again before putting her robe on and deciding to just head to her bedroom without looking Penelope’s way. She thanks MG with a fake smile planted on her face and has to stop the urge to roll her eyes when Penelope calls out to her.

And deep down she knew it wasn’t Penelope’s fault, and she knew the girl was right when they talked earlier, but it was just so much easier than to thank her and having to break the walls she build just for the other girl.

But then Penelope is kissing her and there’s no way she can resist that. She tries, she really does, but she knows is useless. She steps away and sparkling eyes are looking back at her and she can’t read them and she should leave, but she doesn’t.

“I hate you.” She doesn’t.

“I know.”

And the words are so soft and Penelope’s smile is the most beautiful thing she should _leave_ , but she can’t. She doesn’t.

She kisses her again, and it is as if she never stopped, it’s like coming home and she hates it. But she doesn’t stop. There is people around them, she can hear it, but she doesn’t give a single fuck about it.

She allows herself to be selfish.

Penelope is pushed against the wall and she smiles against her lips and it’s a good ten minutes before Josie finally stops and takes control of herself again.

And she has no idea what to say, she just looks at the girl whose lipstick is now all messy and then she simply leaves.

_What the fuck did you just do?_

She asks herself but if she were being honest, she would do it again.

\------

It’s almost five in the morning and she hasn’t slept at all.

Lizzie is cuddled up to her, and their father is at her twin’s bed, both of them sleeping soundly and she feels suffocated. Like the room has no oxygen for the three of them.

Her tears stopped as soon as Lizzie started to freak out, breaking things and screaming at how bad she had treated their biological mother, and how bad of a sister she was, and becoming the center of all the attention yet again.

Josie tried to sleep but she simply could not, all she wanted was to get out of there.

So that was exactly what she did, and she had no idea where to go. The entire place was mostly silent, besides the loud snoring of werewolves coming from the first floor. Her feet guided her and she found herself in front of the room she once called her private heaven. She stood still in front of the door for at least five minutes before knocking it, and as soon as she did, she felt stupid.

Out of the people at school, why did she have to go knocking at her ex’s door? Why did her unconscious thought Penelope’s room was better than her own? That Penelope’s company would be better than her own family?

She knew why.

Josie was almost leaving when the door opened and sleepy eyes became surprised as soon as they saw her.

“Jo?” The brunette’s voice was hoarse and she looked extremely confused but that went away as soon as Josie started tearing up. Josie didn’t know if it was the nickname or her exhaustion but she simply collapsed, sobbing like she hadn’t done in months.

Penelope’s face went soft and worried and she didn’t wait a second longer to bring her ex-girlfriend closer.  

“Hey, shh. You’re okay.” Her sleeping shirt was soaked minutes later and Josie didn’t seem like she was going to stop crying soon. “Come on, let’s get inside.” She practically had to carry the girl to her bed as she continued weeping in Penelope’s shoulder.

Josie didn’t know how long it took for her to calm down. Her head rested on her ex’s chest. She could feel her hair being caressed, she could hear Penelope’s voice humming some unknown melody, and she wished she could stay in that position forever.

She would probably not wish for that if she was in any other situation but she wasn’t, and even after causing her so much pain, Penelope still knew how to calm her down, and Penelope gave her the space she needed to be herself out of Lizzie’s shadow and Penelope didn’t ask any questions and Penelope _cared._

And she knew she could leave if she wanted to, the brunette would let her go and they would get back to their daily banter as if nothing happened, as if they hadn’t kiss a couple of hours ago, as if Josie hadn’t just cried for nearly an hour in her arms.

But Penelope was comfortable, and she wasn’t suffocating. And Josie was exhausted and her ex’s hands on her hair lulled her to sleep before she could even think about leaving.

She could ignore her feelings later, right now she would simply be selfish.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my name's Josie Saltzman and I am in love with Penelope Park


End file.
